I get daily assignments upon waking up. It has gotten to the point where my body is trained to wake up a few minutes before 11am (wake up time/time I need to start my assignments). It's something I look forward to reading every morning. I wake up, rush to my phone, pull up the email and see what is in store for me that day. For example, this morning assignment #4 states: "I want you to write in your blog or journal about all the new things you experienced last night; since the moment we left home till we fell asleep." Considering I don't own a blog or journal I decided to start this one and write about exactly that.*
Before I begin talking about last night, I want to add a little background about myself. I consider myself to be fully asexual, but I'm in love with a man who is not. The idea of sex: penetration, the yucky juices, the humping and sexual caressing is all so gross to me that it is a major turn off. I am, however, capable of feeling aroused and when/if I'm turned on, I'm able to achieve a strand of sexual pleasure. It's probably not nearly as incredibly powerful as it is for most others, considering I have not yet been able to achieve orgasm, but at least I'm able to enjoy it long enough for my partner to get off -- even though there is no sex involved.
Ed and I met and instantly connected. It was one of those things where we felt like we had known each other for years, even though we had just met. I met him on August 4th, 2012 and at the time he was not single. I'm not the kind of girl who goes for men who are already "happy" with other women, so from the first day on I made myself believe that we could only just be friends.
Starting in November of 2012, I began spending every waking moment with him, living with him, going out to dungeons/clubs with him, doing boyfriend/girlfriend things with him while I told everyone we were just friends, and all we were ever going to be was just friends. And I believed it. Boy, was I wrong.
On February 14th, 2013 -- yes, Valentine's Day, cliché I know -- I told my best friend I thought I was in love. I wasn't yet.
On April 12th, 2013 -- my dad's birthday/my parents anniversary/3 days before me and my ex broke up (I almost made it to a year!) -- I asked Ed to be my boyfriend. I told him I wanted to be in a 100% open, poly relationship where I'd be OK with him sleeping with other women. This has changed.
In the last two weeks, I have fallen deeply in love with this man. I think I was holding back for so long, and the dam finally broke. I even had a hard time telling people at first that I was in a relationship because I was afraid it wasn't going to last, that I would find a flaw and take it and run with it. That's what makes him so incredible, I have yet to find anything wrong with him and I'm finally done looking. He just gets better and better. I told my mom this weekend that Ed was my boyfriend and now I'm finally ready to tell the world; it feels nice, it feels right. :)
I'm going to be a good girl now and write about last night, but post it in a couple of days so this first post isn't a novel.
Zoey
P.S. It would be awesome if someone understood what the title of this post is referencing. Just saying.
*There are still times where I read my past blogs that I have made throughout the years so it's kind of nice having several chapters of my life on this online database where it is impossible to lose the physical form. Yay for science.
